Francisco Goya (e.g., Los Desastres de la Guerra –
No. 62 (Las camas de la muerte))
His master’s voice
“how are you feeling?”
how am I feeling?
how do I feel I am feeling?
how do you feel I feel I am feeling?
how do I feel I feel I am feeling?
how do I feel you feel I feel I am feeling?
(permutations (these are not) not perambulations (these they are) not permissions (?) past there (here))
a r e x
d o y
f e e l x
f e e l i n g x
h o w x
y o u y
xbothers me more
ybothers me less
earlier felt unstableprecariouslonelynostalgicnauseousrestlesssadheavyfrustratedannoyedgratefultiredunsatisifedaloneselfdeceptivestupidinundatedneedytrappedfoolishparadoxicalfragmenteddespondent
later will a needley in my skin spin&sing&spring 78 per memoryx [Victrola w/ a V > w/o victory]
I / ? [superfusing suicidal ideation] (? 2019 – idiopathic now)
太宰 治 / Osamu Dazai [No Longer Human] (June 1909 – June 1948)
Charlotte Perkins Gilman / Charlotte Perkins Stetson [The Yellow Wallpaper] (July 1860 - August 1935)
Édouard Levé [Autoportrait [Suicide [Works]]] (January 1965 – October 2007)
John O'Brien [Stripper Lessons] (May 1960 – April 1994)
David Foster Wallace [Oblivion] (February 1962 - September 2008)
Synthroid® / levothyroxine sodium [0.025mg] (January 2020 – lethargic now)
Vyvanse®/ lisdexamfetamine dimesylate [40mg] (April 2020 – vitriolic now)
EMSAM® / selegiline [12mg/24h [9mg/24h [6mg/24h]]] (March 2020 – serac now)
Lithium carbonate [600mg [300mg]] (June 2019 – limacine/March 2020)
Tegretol® / carbamazepine [200mg] (January 2020 – Carthaginian/March 2020)
Risperdal® / risperidone [0.5mg] (August 2019 – reptant/November 2019)
Adderall® / d-amphetamine salt combo / dextroamphetamine-amphetamine [10mg] (January 2019 – addlepated/September 2019)
Luvox® / fluvoxamine [100mg] (May 2019 – flummoxed/June 2019)
Effexor® / venlafaxine ER [100mg [75mg]] (? – veneficial/April 2019)
Untitled (/Have you thought of suicide?)
72 97 118 101 -.-- --- ..- tho
ught of 01110011 0111
0101 01101001 01100011 01
101001 01100100 01100101?
pssnt pn prsss!
plltv pls --
prstrt pryr prtkng,
plnt pprbck prsng,
pcfl pn plyng,
Pphn prngrph –